I love being a father. Really. I do.
I came by the job honestly, and
actually looked forward to it for most of
my early life.
It occurs to me now that I have been
a father for a lot longer than I haven’t
been, and it takes a little bit of reflection
to allow that to sink in.
Moms can relate to some of this, but
not all of it. For example, I cannot hear
a small voice call out “Daddy!” without
turning around to answer. Moms know
this. They react to “Mommy!” in the
same way… at least the good ones do.
Mind you, my youngest child is 15 years
old, but I can’t seem to break the habit.
Now, of course, I cannot hear the
voice of a teenage girl calling out “DAD!”
without reacting, and for the same
reason, at which point I also instinctively
reach for my wallet.
I enjoy being a father, not just because
I was blessed with great kids, but also
because I had the good sense to marry
an outstanding mother. I won’t get into
details, other than to say that I didn’t
always have good sense. In fact, that may
have been a rare lucid moment in my life.
I am smart enough to realize that in
order to enjoy being a father, one has
to take the job seriously. That means
recognizing that the father is less an
individual than he is a part of a cohesive
unit: the family. I’m sure to be criticized
for glorifying the traditional nuclear
family, but the facts are inescapable:
the best fathers are those who recognize
the importance of their roles within the
family, and the importance of building
and maintaining the family.
I shake my head when I hear about
fathers who show little or no interest in
their children, sometimes to extremes.
What they don’t know is that if done
properly, it’s the hardest job you’ll ever
love. Few things in life can compare to
enjoying a hearty laugh with one or more
of your children… and I thank God for
such memories now.
I’ve never felt taller than I have at any
of the times that one of my children came
to me for advice, or asked my counsel on
how to handle a difficult problem. It was
my reward for doing my job, for they saw
me as their guide. Hey, it’s my job, and
thanks for noticing.
This is not to suggest that being a
father doesn’t have its downside. It’s
difficult to see your child fall down or
cut themselves, or to witness your child
being treated rudely by another. It’s
difficult to let your children spread their
wings and fly on their own, yet part of
being a good Dad requires that you do.
The secret is to make sure that all the pre-
flight work has been done properly, and
the kid is airworthy.
The greatest challenges come in the
teen years. They’re still your babies (and
they always will be) but they no longer
seem to need you, unless they can’t find
the car keys… or Mom. Dad still comes
in handy when it comes to flat tires and
other unfair occurrences, but otherwise
finds himself to be generally regarded as
a superfluous entity, who serves only to
embarrass his progeny in the presence of
their friends.
Other children may tease and mock
your kids, but once they reach their teens,
it warms a father’s heart to see that they
have learned an important lesson from it,
as evidenced by how they tease and mock
their Dad. Yes, Dad is the butt of a lot of
jokes, and also loses a considerable sum
of IQ points once teens become truly
self-aware.
The hope is that by the time they
reach the age of 30, Dad will suddenly
gain tremendous wisdom. At the very
least, he will become useful once again,
as he loves to use his tools to fix things
around the house.
One bright spot about teenagers: they
are almost always the messiest people
in the house, which distracts Mom’s
attention from Dad’s messes. The key to
Dad’s happiness in those years is in the
Editor’s Note
Discover Smith Mountain Lake
Summer 2014
4
