Discover Smith Mountain Lake
FALL 2016
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after death, skipping a viewing, even for family members,”
Chris says, adding that he thinks this is a mistake, as it doesn’t
give the closure that is necessary to fully process a loved one’s
death. “People are missing the important work of grief,” he
believes.
“At the very least”, he recommends, “a time of spiritual
reflection” among family and friends, which “doesn’t cost a
penny”, and might include a ceremony commemorating the
deceased’s life. He believes that something permanent, even
if it’s just on paper, or a crude wooden cross, or something
homemade, should be done in the deceased person’s name
and as a remembrance.
“We (Tharp’s staff) stay in touch (with clientele) for up to
two years after the death of a loved one,” Chris says. “We’ve
learned that six months to a year later, the grief is worse for
families that skip this grief work.”
He also recommends that along with aWill, and Health Care
Power of Attorney, everyone should have a funeral plan for
family members to follow. Tharp Funeral Home’s website
offers a funeral plan workbook that people can download.
Some families today are turning back the clock, and holding
home funerals, which were typical in rural areas not so many
years ago. Many of us today can still remember grandma
being “laid out” in the family parlor or her bedroom before
being moved to the funeral home or cemetery.
In early America, home funerals were commonplace, and
each community had a group of women who came in and
helped to prepare the dead. Visitation was held in the front
parlor, followed by a procession to the church and cemetery.
Besides such a front parlor, Colonial homes frequently had a
special door leading to the outside, through which a casket
could be passed. There were no steps from this door to the
ground. It was considered bad luck or in poor taste to move
the casket through an area in the house where others walked.
Also, either out of respect or due to superstition, the deceased
was always moved head first out of the house.
Before you consider a home funeral, you should check the
laws of your state. In Virginia, death laws are quite liberal,
according to Chris. Embalming is not required, but if the body
is not being embalmed, it must be buried within 48 hours
or else it should be refrigerated, which replaces embalming.
There is no law requiring a casket, but the cemetery may
require some type of container for burial.
If the deceased is being cremated, you do not have to buy
a casket; any box can be used, including cardboard. You
may even be able to bury your deceased loved one on your
own property, but you should check with the local health
department and the town and/or county clerks’ office first,
for approval and related requirements.
There are no laws in Virginia regarding the scattering of
ashes on your own property. If you wish to scatter ashes at
sea, however, you must be at least three nautical miles from
land. Notification of various agencies is also required. Before
scattering ashes here on the Lake or any other public areas,
you should first check with local authorities. Some cemeteries
offer special gardens,where ashes can be scattered. Of course,
you should always respect other people’s property when it
comes to scattering ashes.
Chris left a career in education to join his father in the family
funeral business in 2001.
This career change represented a return to the place where
he had worked as a teenager. In those days, he had been in
charge of keeping the building and vehicles clean, as well as
“working” visitations. He still remembers his grandfather’s
stories of the days of the “on call” ambulance drivers, who
played cards in the front room at night to pass the time
between calls for their service.
No matter how much our funeral rituals have changed over
the years, or will change in the years to come, these grand old
funeral homes, such asTharp’s, and the men and women who
own and manage them, deserve our deepest respect. With
compassion, dignity and elegance they have, for generations,
faithfully performed a valued and necessary service that many
of us would find nearly impossible to perform ourselves,
especially when we are most vulnerable.
COME SEE OUR NEW location!
Phone: 540-721-3821
40Village Springs Drive, Suite 14
Hardy, VA 24101
NOW
OPEN!
