Discover Smith Mountain Lake
FALL 2016
7
6
When my parents turned 60 years old (they are six weeks apart
in age), my brothers and I decided to throw them a big surprise
party in a banquet hall.
It was a great party. Everyone had an awesome time. My parents
never forgave us.
They didn’t like the idea of us going to such lengths to give them
a big party when we all had bills to pay and children to support.
They felt badly about us spending so much money on them.We
did it to say “thank you” for being such great parents.
So, when their 50th anniversary came around, they told us well
in advance that there would be dire consequences if we did not
immediately scrap whatever plans were in the works. True to
form, they knew. It was only a week or two after the initial round
of emails was exchanged that they called me on the carpet. Instead
of a party, they insisted on a family vacation to the Outer Banks,
for which they paid the full freight. It was a lovely time for all of
us.
For many of us, 50 years of marriage sounds like the impossible
dream. I’m about to turn 60 next year… which means that Mom
and Dad have been married for 60 years now. Few of us will ever
be able to make that claim.
As I write this, I am looking out over the balcony of my stateroom
on one of the largest cruise ships in the world. Mom and Dad
decided to do the 60thAnniversary in grand style, and once again,
we benefit. We are enjoying 7 days in the Eastern Caribbean
aboard Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines’ Oasis of the Seas. If you
scan the Discovery channel listings, you may eventually catch a
documentary on how she was built.
If you have never been on a cruise ship, no doubt you have friends
and/or relatives who rave about the experience. First, let me say
that the stories that you’ve heard about the food on board are all
unequivocally true. I’d come back for the mashed potatoes alone,
to say nothing of the rest of the cuisine.These folks know how to
put on a spread, and it’s all there for the asking at virtually any
time, including room service, all included in the price of your
sailing pass.
The first time I saw the ocean down this way, I marveled at how
brilliantly deep blue the Deep Blue Sea actually is. It slips silently
past the ship, which remains remarkably stable. For my part, I
don’t really care where we are going or when we get there; I love
being on board this ship. Did I mention that there’s no cell phone
service here? Oh, dear… that means that nobody can call me…
or even find me. Blather on all you wish about shore excursions;
I’m happy to stay on the ship.
This attitude had served me well on our previous cruise, 5 years
ago, on board the Oasis’s sister vessel,Allure of the Seas. Mom and
Dad had taken us on that cruise as well, on the recommendation
of their friends, who had done similarly with their children and
grandchildren. Mom’s one regret was that we had not been able to
attend a Catholic Mass while on that previous cruise, and she was
determined not to repeat the mistake.
She insisted on finding a way to attend Mass this week, and as God
would surely have it, we learned of a Catholic Church that was just
a few minutes away from our first port of call, in Nassau, where
we made port at 7 AM on Sunday.
We received assurances that the church, St. Francis Xavier
Cathedral, was a mere ten minutes from the ship, and that taxi
cabs would be available. Dad explained that there would be an
11:00 AM Mass, and that we had plenty of time to attend and be
back to the pier before the 1:30 PM last call to board.
It sounded reasonable enough: get off the ship around 10AM, get
to the Cathedral by 11:00, and get back to the ship a little after
Noon.
So at around 10:00, we headed to the lower gangway to disembark
on the pier.We were cautioned to have our sailing passes handy,
along with a photo ID or a passport.As they checked us out, ship’s
personnel verified IDs, and we ran into a problem: Dad’s sailing
pass was invalid.This was only mildly surprising, since he had not
been able to use it to access his stateroom only minutes prior.
After holding up the line for several minutes, and insisting that
they re-check and double check the validity of the sailing pass,
a sharp eyed security officer pointed out that Dad’s sailing pass
was from Allure of the Seas. He had been trying to use his sailing
pass from five years earlier. In the midst of all this, Mom had
already gone through, and was waiting on the pier… without her
passport.As they whisked Dad away to resolve his problem, he handed
me Mom’s passport, and having had the good sense not to bring my 5
year old sailing pass with me on this trip, I made it through and gave
it to her.
Dad eventually located his current sailing pass, and joined us a few
minutes later. It took more than ten minutes just to get clear of the
pier and out onto the street, but we still had plenty of time. We
engaged the services of a taxi, and Michael, our driver, made good
on his promise to deliver us right to the front door of the church. As
we needed a return ride, we asked him to come back after Mass. He
approached one of the congregation to ask how long the Mass would
be, and was told that it would be about 90 minutes.
That would mean that we’d be getting out at around 12:30, and we
needed to be back on board by 1:30… certainly do-able, but with
little margin for error. Dad offered to pay him, but he told us we could
pay after we got back to the pier.
“This way,” Michael exclaimed with a grin, “you know I’m coming
back for you!”
We got out of church at about 12:15, and noticed that there were
a number of taxi cabs milling about, hoping for a fare. Time being
as tight as it was, we might have taken any one of them, but we still
hadn’t paid Michael for getting us there. Fortunately, Michael showed
up early, and whisked us promptly back to the pier.
The walk back from the cab to the pier was slow going for Dad, who
was getting tired.When we arrived, we had to go through security
screening prior to boarding. We all knew the drill: empty your
pockets, take off watches and belt buckles, etc.
Dad didn’t care; he marched right through the metal detector, which
he immediately set off. Out came the wands, and we extracted a cell
phone, a pair of metal rimmed glasses, a watch, a camera, and several
other items from his pockets.We made it back on the ship with about
a half hour to spare.
Next time I am bringing a priest.
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